The following information is taking from my former website off my Journal blogpage, which was titled. ' Social Mobility ! ' The information was writtem only for myself so as to journal my experiences and what i had been subject to and information  which i had later presented to a lawyer. It was after the following article that i had decided to write my Journal titled 

Social Mobility !  - Denied Of Every Love And Need

NTRODUCTION - Brought Up In Beith ! (an understatement) In the photo you see a school boy looking happy and smiling. But what was then later to become his career when he was denied by the Union ! This is a true story of a young man's journey,living in a divided Scotland. Because of his apparent learning difficulties which were very recognisable,having to attend individual learning classes or remedial. The education board,rather than addressing his learning difficulties and dealing with the cause,they overlooked the emotional support he needed and his health problem. Gavin was intellectual and very inquisitive enough,being very much in need of intellectual stimulation. But after him being misplaced at school and put in classes of mostly disruptive pupils who showed no incline of wanting to study. Instead of Gavin going to school and putting up with the torment and social difficulties he encountered,he decided to play truant ! So Gavin was denied the formal education that he wanted. He was therefor denied the access to higher education. He was also denied proper employment opportunities or the proper training that would lead to such. He was denied access to housing,after applying when he was 16 years of age and having to wait for at least five years but to no avail. Having very little income,he rather didn't go waste the money in the local pubs and so decided to invest it in his own self-taught education. So Gavin never had the social inclusion or a peer group to share in the topics he was studying and was later denied the proper health-care with the health implications that came about....Or Gavin got fobbed off and anybody with any powers just wanted a shot of him. In other-words,rather than addressing his problem and social fundamental needs,they cashed in on and only exploited them and him........ Subject: School ! I can remember many years ago Gavin's Mother being invited to a parents evening,that i also attended at the end of 2nd term at secondary school,Garnock Academy. She was invited so that the teachers can discuss with her the subjects for the following 3rd year term. I was with Gavin's Mum and i can recall  him being upset as the teacher had said to his Mother that 'i don't think Gavin will be suitable for the subjects he's choosing,as i don't think he will manage them'. His Mother never managed to see many of the Teachers whom he'd had for the previous term to discuss with about any learning difficulties he'd been having and what would be the best options for him for the next years term,or what possibilities would suit Gavin's needs and what subjects he would like to study. Gavin was not allowed to choose any O' level subjects of his choice,nor music or art either which he very much enjoyed ! The teachers probably thought he just wasn't very bright,so they never allowed him the choices. Gavin's Mother never knew he was attending remedial classes all through his schooling,from primary 2 until 2nd term at Garnock Academy. Then again,the teachers never knew about his bed wetting problem he had all through his schooling,right up until primary 6. I can't recall the teachers discussing with Gavin's Mum about his learning difficulties or the cause. I suppose they were just ignored and Gavin too and so he was only giving CSE subjects that were not of his own choice.They therefor never recognised Gavin's intellect or his intelligence and creativity,so as to give him the framework to develop his potential. Subject: The Start Of My Education - My 'Tale To Tell' Part 1 The bureaucratic academic system definitely works and for your social and psychological development,giving you the framework and a healthy peer group of people who share in similar interests. If you get the grade requirements,you can leave school and have access to higher education. You can go on to study medicine and become a doctor. If you get a music degree,you can even go on and study to become a music teacher. But i remember when i was at school,i wasn't allowed to choose any O' grade subjects for my 3rd year term at school,even though i showed lots of interest and an aptitude for music. I was also interested in art,geography and some of the sciences. But because of my unrecognised health problem,i wasn't allowed to choose any subjects. So i found myself in 3rd year term,in classes with mostly disruptive rowdy pupils who showed no interest in learning. So i had to accept the situation as there was nothing i could do,except just learn to adapt. So i decided not to go to school,i played truant as i didn't want the bullying i was encountering. I wonder where the guidance teacher was ! It wasn't until i left the school that i realised the implications of not being allowed the education that i wanted. Especially in employment and most of all my health. I remember pupils from my school,leaving and getting jobs,going to college and University,getting a house to live in,having a social life,going holidays,having a sex life,getting married and having kids. But i didn't qualify for a job or to go to University and because i used to go to scripture union at school and the Bethany Hall when i was younger,i didn't want to lie about my qualifications as it just wasn't me. So i took advantage of the governments 'youth training schemes' but it only led to another 'youth training scheme' and that only led to a years unemployment as i continued looking for work. But i only managed to get a 'community programme' which led to another years unemployment,then an other cheap labour 'community programme'. But i wasn't doing it for the training. No,i was only doing it for the money so i could buy the resource materials for to give myself the education that i was denied. So i bought books and i studied how to read music,a book on how to sing. I taught myself classical guitar,lead and rhythm guitar,acoustic guitar and different styles of playing. I studied psychology,psychotherapy,hatha yoga and other health sciences. I also bought myself a dictionary and studied the complete works of the German writer Herrmene Hesse. I still couldn't find myself a proper job though, as i didn't qualify for any of the vacancies that i applied for. I also had no companionship, as i never went out the house as i didn't want to waste the only money that i had going to bars. I remember having to go to the doctors and he told me that i was suffering from the affects of stress ! I wonder why that was ! He offered me tablets but i never took them. But i knew something just wasn't right and so i decided to go down to London. Subject: Work Experience - My 'Tale To Tell' Part 2 So i went down to London and i stayed in a room in a shared house and i slept on the floor for a year ! And i went out to work and proved to myself that i was able and capable and willing to work. It was very therapeutic. Then i lived in a room for three years with asylum seekers living next door to me. I claimed job seekers allowance and housing benefit. And when i used to go to the job centre,i didn't have the qualifications for the job vacancies i saw on the board. But the woman that used to take my signing paper when i used to sign on each fortnight,the civil servant,she used to phone me and offer me all these cash in hand jobs,tut- tut. So i went out to work and sometimes i had two or three jobs at once,which i found to be very therapeutic for me. I can remember i used to come home each week with £180 or £210 rapped into a bundle,week after week and month after month,£180 rapped up into a ball and i put it in to a bag ! But i didn't know what the money was for as i was living on benefits. But i didn't have any moral qualms about what i was doing. The politicians may call it BENEFIT SCAM, but i've got a better name for it. I call it exploitation,as piss-taken and bullying,oppression and exploitation was my education ! I couldn't put it in the bank as i was afraid that they might ask questions about my unaccountable,disposable income. I couldn't buy furniture with it or a carpet as i had no foundations to put the money into. I couldn't buy council points or get myself a mortgage with it. I couldn't even buy the things that i wanted for myself as i wondered then,who was i buying them for,as my accommodation wasn't secure and i was afraid to have anything of value that people might take. But anyway,i wasn't working for the money. No,i was only doing it for the work experience,which i found to be therapeutic for me. So i gave the money to some people that needed it more than me or i used it to do my unregistered voluntary care work. I also used the money so i could go back home to Scotland to take the dog a walk and visit a friend. While i was working in London it was quite a lonely life,so i just stayed in the house and pursued my hobby,playing the guitar or i went to the library and also bought books and studied psychology,yoga psychology as i still wouldn't have qualified to go to University to study. So as an anthropologist,i studied cults, sects and religions and other forms of mind control techniques. There i realised that bureaucracy was the biggest form of mind control. So there was me with my misguided education,that never allowed me to QUALIFY  to add to my credibility,plus my years of work experience. So i wondered if it was possible to move back home to Scotland where i found later,bureaucracy to be that much more stronger. Subject: 'Caledonia your calling me now i'm going home' - From A 'Five Year Diary' After working down in London for four years and educating myself outside the bureaucratic academic system,a misguided education that never allowed me to qualify to add to my credibility. On request from my girlfriend,i decided to move back home to Scotland. I also realised that bureaucracy there is that much more stronger. After several attempts applying for jobs in Ayrshire,working in a care home and an other as a gardener. I experienced no joy whatsoever. Whilst staying in a bed and breakfast at the time,my girlfriend was putting pressure on me to find employment. It was putting strain on the relationship,especially with the housing difficulty and not having any employment prospects. I tried in desperation to find myself work,while my girlfriend gave herself one week to think about our relationship ! So i applied for a job in The Bay Tree Cafe in Glasgow,a vegan cafe and worked there voluntarily,hoping that they would keep me on full time. They payed my travel expenses,then later explained to me that they would have to terminate my employment for insurance purposes. I asked my girlfriend to come north with me to Fort William,where i might  have better prospects of finding employment and where i could also subsidise my income by working professionally as a musician doing gigs in the hotels. The only other option was for my girlfriend to come with me back down to London where she could also work and where i previously found it very much easier finding jobs. It was mutual and my girlfriend decided she didn't want to leave her parents home and so i decided i would be better going on my own up North,as i was not likely to find any jobs locally. Five months or more passed while i was staying at my Mums house while also suffering from the effects of that and having to go to the local bar and wasting money on beer,only so i could be out of her way. I never used to drink previous to that and if i did it was only on occasion. Prior to going to Fort William,i had met a college whom i previously worked with on the odd occasion in London. He was staying at his girlfriends house in Aberdeen and he invited me to stay for a while,providing i manage to find myself work. My bed was the bedroom floor! The house was empty and had no furniture. It was a whole week in the job centre of filling in forms,but to no avail. I applied for a job as a dish-washer in one of the hospitals. I filled in the application and got as far as the interview but then never got offered the position. Another i applied for,was an assistant manager position in a hardware store,where i felt i had relevant previous experience working as a shop assistant in a shop in Wembley Central in London,a shop called Home And Around. But i knew because of my lack of formal qualifications and relevant job references,i wouldn't get a start. Well,who's fault was that? I gave up ! I knew i had my years of work experience in London and my education,and to think that i was contemplating myself a career by going studying nursing,psychology or social-work ! Well,i thought i had done enough studies and that i should be well on my way by now,with a career and very much established. So i decided to put it all to good use. Fort William here i come. Subject: My Career And Music Project Began - My 'Tale To Tell' Part 3 When I was playing music on the street in Fort William,i can always remember couples walking past me and looking in my guitar case and saying, 'oh wow,look at all the money he's got'. I could always sense they were a little envious of me. But secretly i would be envious of them. I knew they had an apartment to LIVE IN,they had a job to go to,they were on the PAYROLL,and they were paying RENT and paying TAX. They were building upon their OWN FOUNDATIONS,buying carpets and other furnishings. They were INTEGRATED into the close knit community. They had friends,they were in a relationship and they had a beautiful child in a pram. I realised that all the money i was making,couldn't buy me any of that. I couldn't BUY myself council points or a Housing Association place,as the points were took of the council register.I couldn't get a mortgage with it as that would be ludicrous with my irregular disposable income. Only being on the payroll can get you that. I realised i was just a MIDDLE MAN,a mere commodity and an ASSET to the capitalists and other BENEFICIARIES. So long as i was living my lie and consuming x amounts of alcohol in a bar so as to have some social aspect to my life,i realised that the only interest that the local people had in me was an INVESTED INTEREST. So i wondered if it was possible to move back home to my home town in Beith in Ayrshire. Subject: Meeting Mike,Gerry and Sarah - From 'A Five Year Diary' I made a few friends while i was staying in Fort William and mostly associated with people who were visiting the area,either from England or abroad.Mike Lates was one such person,he was from England and was a mountaineering instructor. We had met in Fort William and he invited me to stay for a couple of weeks on the Isle Of Sky in a little house in a place called Luib. We did a few climbs together and you can see me in the photo on the summit of Sgurr Nan Gillian.  I was also introduced to a girl called Sarah from England and her name had come to my mind a few times before i had met her,which i had thought to be very uncanny when later Gerry introduced me to her. Sarah fancied me i found out and i was seeing her for a few months,but realised that her job as an artist and graphic designer wouldn't allow her to make any sudden move to Scotland,as she wanted to at the time. I preferred not to get too emotionally involved with her and tried giving her some moral support knowing of the difficulties she was experiencing at home at the time. I asked her to give me something to remember her by and she then reached into her car and gave me these two paintings. Subject: My Career And Music Project Began - From 'A Five Year Diary' After staying in Fort William for almost one year and a half,living what felt more like a lifestyle,performing music on the street and doing the occasional gig.I did feel somewhat most insecure,living out of a rucksack and staying in peoples houses,also in back-packer type hostel accommodation. I had no real foundations to build upon or to practise my music,or do any music studying ! I had no space of my own,or any independence whatsoever so as not to disturb other people with my music practise. Despite the large amount of money i was making,i couldn't find myself suitable secure accommodation to live in. I heard about the difficulties others who had moved to Fort William many years earlier,and their experiences of having to wait many years to be offered any permanent housing. Realising and knowing of others experiences of trying to be permanently housed in the area,i knew at the time i would have a similar outlook and going through the appropriate bureaucratic channels and having to wait considerable time to be housed. I realised i would soon have to leave Fort William. Subject: My Career And Music Project Began - My 'Tale To Tell' Part 3 cont During my year and a half of music performance on the street in Fort William as a professional musician. I found myself having no real foundations to put my money into,so as to provide me with some security or privacy of my own. I wondered if it was possible then,and 'as an anthropologist ', to  move back to my home town in Beith in Ayrshire,where i was more indigenous to and where i was brought up,or brought down rather should i say ! I set out to see if it were possible to get myself a 'HOUSE to LIVE IN', not necessarily to invest in. Also get myself a JOB and stay on the payroll. Pay RENT and pay TAX  and add to MY own FOUNDATIONS. Hopefully make some knew friends,meet someone and settle down,get married,have kids and have a more CONVENTIONAL life,rather than this UNCONVENTIONAL LIFESTYLE. Well,what was then to UNFOLD and rather than left to be untold,what the system threw at me other than show any social responsibility. I decided later to incorporate in my music performance as my 'Tale To Tell'. What a SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGICAL EXPERIENCE it turned out to be ! Subject: Trying To Establish Myself And Get In The System - My 'Tale To Tell' Part 4 So i moved back to Beith and i managed to get myself a job in the post office,part time at about £120 per week. I thought fantastic ! But the Post master recognising my suitability for the position,wanted me almost immediately to go full-time,explaining to me that i will be required to pass my driving test as i would be driving the van on a Saturday because the job is actually a full-time position. But my rent being £60-£70 per week and had only about £40-£50 per week to feed and cloth my self and pay for essential items for the half furnished flat and expected to afford to pay for the driving lessons so that i could hold on to the position. I couldn't afford the driving lessons and the Post master wasn't going to pay for it. I had no option but to leave the job,but i wanted to work,obviously that's why i took the job in the first place. I then made a claim for housing benefit and job seekers allowance,as i had to be living in the vicinity to be near my Mum as her health wasn't very good. Because i wanted to work and be out applying myself,i decided that i would commute into Glasgow and do some music performance or street entertainment,knowing probably that i might have to put up with the social implications of it. As much as it was socially and culturally acceptable to a degree in Fort William. I knew that me commuting from a small town,where i'm yet to establish myself,housing,employment and most importantly socially. I knew it would be an entirely different game. So i did just that and commuted into Glasgow and did some music performance. So what happened,a small town. Someone clipped on me to the claimants investigator,the social security fraud squad and they came out to visit me. So i invited them into the flat. They asked if i 'had being doing part time work or buskin while on receipt of benefits'. I said 'well yes,i have been,but i'm not purposely trying to defraud the system'. 'I've been living a hectic life style in Fort William,living out of a rucksack and staying in peoples houses'. 'And i've only just returned here to Beith,to get myself a job and somewhere to live,so i can get myself on my feet and feel somewhat more secure'. They explained to me that i 'can't claim benefits and do part time work at the same time'. So i asked them 'what am i meant to do as i tried securing myself a job but couldn't hold on to the position'. They just gave me a shrug and explained that they didn't know. So i went to the Doctors and went through medical grounds to be prioritised for secure permanent housing to live in. I got an official letter back from the council explaining to me that i can't be prioritised as i don't have any dependents or suitable medical condition,that i'm homelessness and that i just have to take a private let from where i had just came and already staying! So i went back to the Doctors and they explained to me that i was obviously quite anxious about the situation. So there was me with my social medical condition of anxiety,which just means not being able to focus your mind on the physical and material aspects of living. After all,that's what life is about,having somewhere to ' live' and applying yourself and building upon your foundations. I said 'well i would like a place of my own to stay,so i can go out to work and pay rent'. The Doctors decided to put me on therapeutic work,which would enable me to claim benefits and do some part time work at the same time. I then commuted into Glasgow and occasionally Edinburgh,up North to Fort William in the Summer months and sometimes Inverness and continued to pursue my hobby. Sometimes i was making £100 or £150 a day. But i wasn't working fraud squad,honestly,this is my hobby. But i didn't know what the money was for as i had no foundations to put the money into. I couldn't buy myself a carpet,a fridge or washing machine with it as i had no where to put them. I also found myself l being stereotyped,stigmatised then socially ostracised. It was just as well i was living a lie,consuming x amounts of alcohol in a bar so as to have some social aspect to my life,as i had not yet any companionship unless i was doing my unregistered voluntary social care work,which contributed to me getting physical abuse caused only by my association with the person. I also had to put up with verbal taunts,especially when out at night where those that offered me any respect,knew nothing about. Subject: My 'Tale To Tell' Part 5 As much as i recognise that i was in receipt of BENEFITS,and receiving GIFTS from members of the public,people might argue that i was DEFRAUDING the system.The politicians call it BENEFIT SCAM. But i've got a better name for it,i call it EXPLOITATION,as that was part of my  EDUCATION ! The doctors,if they had any INTEGRITY whatsoever and if they had used their authority,or any powers that they might have. They could have brought about far better results for my housing,employment and social needs,then i would be GIVING that which i'm entitled to. The DOCTORS had no right putting me on THERAPEUTIC WORK ! The local authorities had no right giving me HOUSING BENEFIT ! The BENEFIT AGENCY  had no right giving me INCOME SUPPORT ! If the LOCAL AUTHORITIES had any sense of GIVING or INTEGRITY whatsoever and used any powers that they might have. Then all the local authorities had to give me,that which i had been waiting for,for numerous years (far more then ten years ! ) Is affordable,rented SECURE ACCOMMODATION  to LIVE IN , not necessarily to INVEST  in and which is a BASIC HUMAN CIVIL RIGHT, so as to give me the INCENTIVE and the RIGHT to go out to work and do a job that would be of benefit to MY life, not a PROFITEERING LANDLORDS. So that i can pay RENT and BUY THINGS,washing machine,carpet etc,adding to my  OWN FOUNDATIONS. So that i can pay TAX and pay money into the OPPRESSIVE SYSTEM. Get my foot on one rung of the SOCIAL LADDER,not the PROPERTY LADDER and be SOCIALLY INTEGRATED into society,or the community. That's not too much to ask for or be giving ! Subject: A Foreword And Reference To My 'Tale To Tell' Between April of 1996 and until August 2004 is the period,when as a professional musician i performed music on the street whilst at the same time trying to establish myself and make a life for myself,also trying to get in the system,but only to expose the lack of co-operation,giving and integrity by people of authority and which i exposed later when i incorporated in my music performance as my 'Tale to Tell'.            I received a great response from my 'tale to tell' speech. A crowd would gather to listen. Afterwards people would approach to say,for example, 'good on you' or 'yea,that's what happened to me'. Sometimes gave me money for too ! So it was a positive thing you see. As these people could so much identify themselves in 'the picture' of my 'Tale To Tell' and helped them feel that their not alone. As the story unfolded it would break through the rational consciousness to their very being and pin down their own wants and needs,in a system that's offering them very little or no hope. The 'cracks' do exist and rather than the system offering these unfortunate souls what they deserve and need. The system cashes in on them in the form of authoritative figures 'cashing in on,only to justify their own reasons for existence'. The social worker,is he working his way out of a job,or does he work only to keep himself in a job ? He has the piece of paper,a job title,a pay pack and the 'integrity' that's meant to go along with it becomes incidental,as he's got a good or reasonable standard of living for himself and most importantly,paying revenue into the state. For those that fall through the cracks and there needs aren't met,do the government implement these figures of authority to really care about and address individual needs with integrity,or do the disadvantaged and oppressed have to be kept in their place for authoritative figures own selfish end,to justify their own reasons for existence. Does the government really care about a hundred or thousand such individuals as Gavin,who wasn't 'giving' the appropriate and proper opportunities for himself, to develop his full potential in a manner that would be more conducive for his social and psychological well-being and development,offering him the dignity and a barrier with a healthier sense of identity for himself,then to be more easily placed,respected and understood by others..Instead,to get brushed aside as rejects,swept under the carpet out of the way and tagged as failures and don't stand up to be counted,and there voices worthy to be heard. Because it's,he's not working for the government's behalf. Do they have to press a destruct button in there challenges,needs and desires for certain officials in government services and authorities to justify their own behalf ! The answer is no,they do not care as there are plenty who have succeeded before and after him and who have become 'well adjusted' contributors to society and to the government in the form of revenue. So it doesn't matter if Gavin was denied and his needs weren't met. No,because there are plenty of other people who have succeeded in their education,have a piece of paper,the job title,a pay packet,the social standing that goes along with it. Individuals therefor,don't matter or stand to be counted under our Government,they don't matter other than a number or a mere statistic as they are a stock in trade and unless your 'successful' in paying revenue up the pyramid to the politicians,government officials,peers and other beneficiaries then your fodder. Only the state then for them,is what counts and matters. Fascism is the name for it.. My story and 'Tale To Tell' was about my experiences and i only intended to 'relate' the story to others. It was not a complaint...I was pleased by the response that it received. I'm not the victim,is what i explained to the public but that 'the system' itself is the victim and that i'm only representative,whilst addressing humanitarian and social fundamental issues and injustice, whilst exposing the lack of co-operation,giving and integrity in the sometimes oppressive and dysfunctional system in a so called democratic Scotland. The things that i wanted to achieve from my music project,by 'giving' music for free and demonstrating that sometimes life can be not only about what you can get but also,what you can 'give' and to demonstrate 'giving and integrity'. Why? Because that's what i never got ! The objectives that i set for myself,were not meant to be in in that strict order of-course as such ! - A house,meet someone,marriage,family etc,but only to express 'the gist' of my goals and intentions. But then,they are not only mine. My 'career' as a performer and musician was meant to be a means to an end i hoped and not only for it's own sake. But then,no one knew that,or knew me.

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